I’m sure everyone has worked a job that was
mentally draining, physically exhausting, stressful, and simply not worth it.
I have worked several jobs that have fallen into those categories and my last position as a FOH Manager hit all of those categories at one time. It has been one year since I chose my mental health, and it was the first time I chose me.
When I first got to Austin, TX back in 2019 I knew I wanted to be a part of this specific restaurant group. I knew I was going to get a position in one of their dozen concepts, if it was a manager or a server. I desired to show off my managerial skills and that was the position I was aiming for. I interviewed with a handful of restaurants across the city and finally received an email from the HR director of this specific hospitality group. They wanted me in the role of a manager at one of their more flagship restaurants. Of course this coincided with what I wanted at the time, so I accepted their offer and went into this position like a freshman in college, an overachiever, with stars in her eyes, ready to make a difference.
In all reality, I think I made a huge alteration in that restaurant. I made the necessary changes to develop a smoother experience for management, employees, and developed a great culture joining the BOH & FOH. My staff constantly vented to me to make the necessary changes, feeling comfortable bringing it to me, knowing I would do anything for my staff. I would have done anything for them. They were my family at that point.
I dealt with the boys club bull shit, the thankless closing nights, the unnecessary patriarchal leadership’s opinions and how my voice went unheard. I was simply a pawn in their system. I gave up time with my husband, the ability to make friends in a new city, and countless experiences I won’t get back. I was there for almost two years when I realized it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
While everyone was laid off because of the pandemic, collecting unemployment, getting time to themselves to discover their new hobbies, who they were, and what they wanted to do for the rest of their life: I was working 50 hours a week. I was putting myself in the path of the virus consistently to get my community the food they needed. I never missed a day and even cancelled my ten year anniversary trip. I worked tirelessly to make sure I trained the new management who was brought in to help, to create new systems for a flawless carryout service, and to stay in touch with my staff who were all stressing mentally about what they were going to do. Meanwhile the hire-ups were sitting around on their laptops not contributing to the real chaos that was the carryout service during the pandemic. Instead of getting a thank you for taking all of that on without hesitation, I would get reprimanded because I didn’t contribute to doing the dishes and other meaningless forms of peon negativity. Meanwhile the General Manager would stand around on their phone and leave early while all of the female FOH managers did the heavy lifting, (sometimes literally).
Just thinking about this time in my life brings back anxiety and stress. This company has so many flaws, does not think about their people, is constantly working to expand their concepts and does little in the way of the quality of life for the staff who work endlessly to make things happen for them.
So it has been a year since I quit that job, the secure paychecks, and the health insurance. I quit knowing life may get a lot more difficult and trying, but I know that at least I wasn’t going to be dealing with anyone’s bullshit in a thankless position stressed out beyond belief putting myself and my family in direct path of the virus.
If you’re reading this and looking for a sign to quit that job that is draining you of the sparkle in life, here is that sign. Choose you! Don’t devote your time to a company that could care less about you and your wellbeing. They don’t deserve you. You’re amazing and talented and deserve everything the world has to offer. Chase your dreams and direct that energy elsewhere.
